Brannigan's Law

I love the NBC show 30 Rock, and enjoy the zany comments by the character Tracy Jordan. Here are a few of my favorites!

Tracy Jordan Memorable Quotes:

Tracy: I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do.

Tracy: The holidays without drinking is rough! Turns out football is boring, my wife's sister ain't as cute as I thought she was, and I can not play the guitar.

Tracy: Tell her that you want your privates and her privates to do a high-five

Tracy: Oh, I get it, Romeo and Juliet, Capulets and Romulans. I been there--I'm black, she's white; I'm black, she's light-skinned black; I'm black, she's seventeen.

Tracy: [at the Church of Practicology with electrodes attached to his head] I believe the moon doesn't exist. I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is that they'll never get to prove it! I believe there are 31 letters in the white alphabet. Well...what was the question again?

Tracy: If you get rich off this stuff, just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.

Tracy: Remember that e-mail we got from those Nigerians who keep our help getting that money out of Africa? We did it! I got the check today.

Tracy: I am a stabbing robot.

Tracy: Poker night! I love poker! I used to play all kinds of poker with my aunts - Crazy Sevens, Albuquerque Freak Out, One Card Stud.

Tracy: (dealing cards) This round, Texas Doozy. Face cards are wild, threes a jinx, fives are twos.

Tracy: Where are the french fries I did not ask for? You guys need to anticipate me!

And the best of all.....

Tracy: I'm mad at you, Dad.

Jack: [imitating Redd Foxx] Hey, dummy, I'm mad at you too! Why ya gotta act up that way?!

Therapist: Um, t-that's not exactly what I had in mind.

Tracy: Cuz you left me, Dad!

Jack: I was young and confused and your moms didn't want me around no more. Now pass me them damn collared greens!

Tracy: Is this true, Mom?! [Motions for Jack to move to another chair]

Jack: [imitating black woman] He gambled away my welfare check. [imitating Foxx] Woman, I got a mind to slap you upside the head!

Therapist: Uh, this is not helpful.

Tracy: Be me now!

Jack: [imitating Tracy] I only act out because I want your loovvveee! DY-NO-MITE!

Therapist: I think we're just doing Good Times now.

Tracy: Now do the white dude that my moms left my dad for.

Jack: [imitating uptight white male] Now see here, Tracy, it's impolite to slurp one's soup.

Tracy: Whoa, no need to resort to ugly stereotypes.

Jack: [imitating Foxx] You're always gonna be my son. [imitating black woman] Tracy, just because I stopped loving yo' Dad doesn't mean we stopped loving you. [imitating Foxx] Stop putting words in my mouth, woman! [imitating Hispanic woman] ¡Oye papi, callate! Peeple are sleeeping! [imitating Foxx] Mind your own damn business, Mrs. Rodriguez.

Therapist: Al-alright. This is ridiculous.

Jack: [imitating Foxx] Lady, just because I'm an ignorant black man and you people give me a nickel to bust up your chifforobe, doesn't give you the right to call me ridiculous just because I'm proud of my son. [pretends to die] T-they got me, the honkies shot me! [falls over "dead"]

Tracy: No, Dad! Don't die! I love you Dad! I don't wanna dogfight no more!

Jack: [normal voice] Tracy that's it! That's it!

Tracy: [to therapist] Thank you for showing me there really is love in my family after all. And I need to stay the hell away from them. [to Jack] Donaghy, you're the only family I need, Jackie D.

Jack: You got that right, Tre. You know it's too bad you didn't know Howard Cossell when you were growing up because I had that one in my pocket the whole time.